


When You Left

by Woebegon



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Bottom Katsuki Yuuri, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Christophe Giacometti & Victor Nikiforov Friendship, Eventual Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky Friendship, Katsuki Yuuri Needs a Hug, M/M, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Wingman Christophe Giacometti, Yuri Plisetsky is a Brat, Yuri Plisetsky's Nickname Is Yurio
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-02-10 20:59:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woebegon/pseuds/Woebegon
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri is left heartbroken when his crush/best friend, suddenly disappeared. He stopped talking and became very distant, until his first day of college when life suddenly becomes a bit brighter.





	1. Chapter 1

Viktor laughed as his best friend Yuuri lost his balance on his ice skates, falling onto the cold, hard, icy floor. Viktor clutched his sides, his stomach beginning to hurt from the stream of giggles coming from his mouth. His eyes threatened to spill tears.

The boys had been practically inseparable since Yuuri was in second grade and Viktor was in fourth, when they became best friends. When Yuuri has transferred to Viktor’s school all the way from Japan and had no friends. Viktor was helping out with the supervisors at recess one day when he saw Yuuri. He was sitting on a swing, all alone. Viktor had gone up to the younger boy and declared them best friends. Yuuri didn’t question it and they soon grew very close.

Yuuri frowned. “Shut up! This is my first time on the ice! You come here, like, all the time!” The fifteen year old stated, pouting his lips. He pushed his blue framed glasses up his nose just for them to slide back down his face.

Viktor stifled his laughs and held out his hand to help Yuuri up as apology for mocking him. Yuuri grabbed his hand, then smiled mischievously, yanking down on Viktor’s arm, pulling the taller, silver haired boy down next to him. Viktor yelped at the sudden force, groaning as he rubbed his lower back.

“Oh god,” he groaned, chuckling. “My tailbone!”

Yuuri stuck out his tongue. “That’s what you get. Don’t mess with me; I fight back!” Yuuri said, trying his best to sound tough.

Viktor watched him, his cheeks puffing up with air as he held back the need to laugh. He had to slap a hand over his own mouth to try and muffle his giggles. Yuuri just pushed him and smiled, blushing furiously.

“Stop laughing at me! I could kick your butt!”

More muffled giggles.

“Oh, shut up!”

Viktor got up, and grabbed Yuuri’s hand, helping the smaller, black haired boy stand up.

“Come on,” the silver haired boy said. “I’ll help you around the rink.”

The two boys staked slowly around the rink, arms linked, making sure to stop if Yuuri almost slipped again. People passed them up around the rink multiple times, which would usually annoy Viktor, but all he could pay attention to were Yuuri’s mesmerising brown eyes that hid behind his glasses. His nose and cheeks were rosy from the cold temperature of the building. Viktor cleared his throat, his cheeks becoming redder than they were already.

“Y-Yuuri,” the taller blue eyed boy said, stumbling on the shorter’s name. Yuuri looked up at Viktor.

“Hm?”

Viktor’s hands shook as he began to speak.

“Well, I-I’ve wanted to tell you something for a while, but I r-really didn’t know how to approach you about it. But here it goes… Yuuri, I-I like you.”

Yuuri looked back to the floor and processed Viktor’s words.

“Well,” Yuuri said, not sure if he understood the statement. “I like you too, Viktor. You’re my best friend.”

Viktor’s heart dropped a bit. “No, Yuuri. I like like you. And I have for a while now.”

Yuuri’s breath hitched in his throat, his cheeks growing brighter. “Yes, Viktor. And I said I like you too.”

Viktor’s stomach did a flip. He never thought his feelings were mutual. In fact, he would’ve never imagined in his wildest dreams that his feelings were mutual. In his eyes, he was just some screw up, who couldn’t do anything but skate if he didn’t have his friend Yuuri at his side. In his eyes, he was useless, pathetic, ugly, stupid, worthless…

Viktor’s eyes filled with tears and he hugged the younger boy. Yuuri immediately reciprocated, holding his best friend close to him; so close that they could feel each other’s heartbeats. Yuuri didn’t realize it, but for the first time in a long time Viktor felt useful. Loved. Needed.

That was years ago. Things were different. Now, Yuuri was starting college, not knowing where his former best friend was, having lost contact with him soon after they had both confessed their feelings.

Yuuri, now eighteen, sighed as he sat down for the first time in hours. He had just finished moving all his belongings from his room at his parent’s house to his dorm room at his new college. He closed his eyes and fell back, his back hitting the bed softly. He pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes, memories about Viktor flooding his memory.

 _'Why now?'_ He thought, annoying. _'Come on brain, get over him. He left you without a sign or warning, you deserve better.'_

The fact was that Yuuri couldn’t get over Viktor. His best friend had left one day, not answering his phone, never to be seen again. When Yuuri visited his house, it turned out they had suddenly moved. It was spontaneous. Too spontaneous, which is why it hurt all the more. Yuuri had just gotten enough confidence to occasionally wink at his crush, hold his hand, and once in a blue moon, flirt with him. He had everything in a second and in the same amount of time it was ripped away.

Yuuri sighed and groaned, trying to push back the approaching tears. He had a reason to cry, but refused to. He was mad, sad, confused, aggravated, morose, and everything else in that spectrum. He needed to cry, but wouldn’t allow himself. He refused to be seen as weak.

**_Knock knock._ **

He was ripped away from his thoughts as knocks echoed off the plain walls of his new room. Yuuri wiped his eyes, quickly scrambled to his feet, fixed his glasses, and walked to the door in black sweats and a pastel pink pullover.

When he opened the door he was greeted with the welcome smile of his friend Phichit. “Yuuri! If you’re feeling up to it, a neighbour is having a welcome party at his house in about an hour. I was told it’s pretty last minute, so just come casually dressed, nothing too fancy. If you don’t want to go, just tell me, I’ll stay behind with you and we can play with my hamsters…”

Yuuri nodded and spaced out, stuck in his own thoughts. He thought about how he missed Viktor’s stunning eyes, his graceful posture, his slender fingers, his porcelain skin…

“Yuuri! Are you okay? You spaced out.”

Yuuri looked up and nodded, smiling not-too-convincingly.

Phichit frowned. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything. I’m just right across the hall, yeah?”

Yuuri smiled sadly and nodded. Phichit nodded back and waved. He turned and Yuuri shut the door. He felt awful.

A flood of emotions overtook his brain. He backed up against the door and slid down it, drawing his knees to his chest. He put his head between his knees and pounded a hand on the floor. He was so confused. He didn’t know what to feel. Sadness? Anger? No. It was guilt. He felt bad.

Phichit became his friend after Viktor left. He met Yuuri when he found him staring off into space in the men’s bathroom at their highschool, squeezing his hand into a fist so hard, his nails dug into his skin, making him bleed. Phichit helped him bandage up his hand and hung out with him after that. He never questioned anything, never left his side, never doubted him. Yuuri loved him for that, because Phichit stayed with him through everything, even though Yuuri hadn’t once spoken since Viktor’s disappearance. He hadn’t talked to Phichit or any of his family a single time.

Yuuri sat on his bed and folded almost in half, letting his arms droop over the sides of his legs.

 _'A party might be good'_ , Yuuri thought, his feet tapping on the floor out of habit. _'Maybe I’ll find someone who enjoys ice skating too.'_

Yuuri groaned as he sat back upright and stood up, looking for the box with all of his clothes in it.

_'But I’m only going if I have something to wear.'_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got this out early because i dunno if i'll be able to update soon; my life's getting pretty hectic.

Yuuri and Phichit left for the party after Yuuri had taken twenty minutes to choose what to wear; after trying on every possible outfit combination, hoping to stall for time to think of an excuse not to go, he decided to just wear black jeans and a blue shirt. Yuuri was also _not_ pleased to find out that this was not a neighbour in their dorms, but a neighbour across the street, living in an apartment complex.

Yuuri stood next to Phichit, who knocked on the door numbered _235_. Loud music blared from behind the barrier, and as soon as a boy with blond and red hair open the door, the music got louder (which Yuuri didn’t think was possible). The boy wore blue jeans and a shirt with a hexagonal design going up the front. He held a Solo cup in one hand and was being bumped around by people dancing behind him. Yuuri’s eyes widened as he saw the chaos right behind the wall that protected him.

“Hey! Come on in!” The boy said, waving them in.

Yuuri turned, about to walk away, when Phichit grabbed his shoulders.

“Come on, Yuuri! It’ll be fun!”

Yuuri’s palms began to sweat as he slowly walked into the party, the music swallowing him whole. A wave of people almost digested him, but he swiftly backed into a wall, following it to the corner of the room lit with strange coloured lights. He breathed deeply, keeping his eyes closed.

 _Come on Yuuri,_ he thought. _You’re fine. You’re fine. Don’t have a panic attack. Not here, not now. Please, please, please someone help…_

And his prayers were answered.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Yuuri turned to see his saviour; a tan man with a brown under cut and blond hair on the top of his head. He had slight facial hair, hazel eyes, and a friendly face.

“Hey,” The man said, speaking loudly over the deafening music. “My name is Christophe! You can call me Chris!”

Yuuri nodded and smiled, showing he understood. He wasn’t sure what to do; he had never been in a situation where he had to give his name to someone before.

“What’s your name?” Chris asked expectantly. Yuuri swallowed hard, getting even more anxious. He opened and closed his mouth several times before someone helped him out.

“Yuuri! There you are!” Phichit said, stumbling over to where Yuuri stood. “I lost you the first second we got here! The wave of people just enveloped me! My life flashed before my eyes! Hey, who’s this?”

Chris smiled politely and stuck out his hand. “The name’s Chris. I met your friend - Yuuri, was it? - when he was following the wall to the corner. Looked like a deer in the headlights.”

“Oh, Yuuri, I’m so sorry! My name is Phichit, by the way, nice to meet you. Yuuri doesn’t talk, so I feel awful for being swept away! I’m so sorry, Yuuri!”

Yuuri smiled and shrugged. Chris stared at Yuuri, probably wondering what had happened to the poor kid - vocal chord problems? Traumatic experience?

“Oh!” Chris said suddenly, as though he had just remembered something. “How about I lead you two to the refreshments and we get to know each other a bit more?”

Phichit looked to Yuuri who nodded immediately.

 _Anything but getting near those hooligans,_ Yuuri thought, looking over at the sea of people who were now all simultaneously head banging to _All Star_ by Smash Mouth.

Chris led them the long route, going around all the people and sticking to the walls. They arrived at the beverage table and Chris began listing the options.

“There’s spiked punch, beer, and this is _supposed_ to be the non alcoholic punch, but I tried it and it’s spiked as well. And there’s water in the kitchen.”

Yuuri looked to the kitchen and saw some kids doing lines of shots, some seeing how many empty beer cans they could smash over their heads, and some couples making out. Yuuri shook his head and got himself a cup. As he ladeled himself some punch, the song changed and his breath hitched in his throat.

_When the moon fell in love with the sun_

_All was golden in the sky_

_All was golden when the day met the night_

Yuuri sighed and closed his eyes while the lyrics of the song filled his head. When Yuuri went to Viktor’s house for the first time, he showed Yuuri a dance to the same song that played now. Viktor’s body had moved so gracefully, as though the music controlled his body and _he_ didn’t. Yuuri swayed and opened his eyes, continuing to ladle himself punch.

 _I need to get drunk, quick,_ Yuuri thought, chugging the punch. He got through the cup in one gulp and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. Before he walked over he got himself more punch.

“...And I helped him bandage his hands. It looked pretty bad, and I was worried for him.” Yuuri heard as he walked up, immediately knowing they were talking about how the two met. He hated that story. He had become friends with Phichit because Phichit pitied him. He hated it.

He continued drinking his punch. On his fifth or sixth cup, - he wasn’t sure which number, he had lost count - he began feeling a bit dizzy. His brain got a little fuzzy and he giggled and hiccuped in the middle of Phichit talking about his hamsters. Chris looked a bit concerned and put his arm around Yuuri.

“Hey, let’s get you to a bed, okay? You don’t look too good…” Yuuri just nodded in response and let the taller man lead him to a comfy bedroom. As he laid Yuuri on the bed, Phichit thanked him.

“It’s no big deal.  I hope the room isn’t too messy - I try to keep it as tidy as possible, but throwing parties doesn’t help. Hey, I have a friend you might want to meet; I think you’ll like him. Just give me a minute, I’ll go find him.”

Phichit nodded and sat next to Yuuri who now sat upright, tugging at his shirt.

“Yuuri,” Phichit said calmly. “Come on, let’s get a blanket on you.” Phichit put a blanket on Yuuri’s shoulders and began fixing his hair. Yuuri stared off into space as Phichit flattened his frizzy locks, making them sit tame on his head. Yuuri pouted his lip and messed up his hair again. Phichit sighed and raised his hands in defeat, as if to say “You win.”

As Phichit was about to make a comment about what a brat Yuuri was being, Chris peeked his head in, making sure he wasn’t walking into anything _messy_. When Chris saw them sitting there he smiled and opened the door the rest of the way to reveal a blue eyed, silver haired man, with porcelain skin

“Guys, this is-” Chris was cut off. He wasn’t cut off by Phichit, not by the new man, but by the currently drunk Yuuri.

“Viktor,” the mute boy said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to point out spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, i appreciate it


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a crappy chapter but next chapter will be better i promise. i'm just trying to get as many chapters out before this week.

Yuuri sat on the bed, his cheeks rosy from the alcohol. His brain became less fuzzy as his stomach grew more unsettled. His eyes were wide and his glasses sat lopsided on his face as his brown eyes peered into Viktor’s blue ones.

“Viktor,” he said, his voice raspy from lack of use.

 _‘No way,’_ Yuuri thought. _‘This isn’t happening. I’m just drunk out of my mind. I need to go home…’_

Everyone stared at Yuuri in complete shock. ‘ _How does he know Viktor?’ ‘Why does he know Viktor?’ ‘HE TALKED AGAIN?!’ ‘What now?’_

Everything seemed tense. They could feel it in the air. Everyone looked to Yuuri in expectancy, as the music continued playing and people continued singing along, screaming, talking… It was so odd for everything to be crumbling on top of Yuuri while everyone else didn’t notice and just kept enjoying the night. It seemed almost unfair.

Chris shuffled his feet a bit when Yuuri got up and calmly walked past everyone, bumping into Viktor on his way out. He stopped in his tracks, tears making their way to his eyes. He _felt_ him. He can’t be imagining this, he _can’t_ be.

He covered his mouth and continued walking, not wanting to make a scene. Tears spilled out of his eyes as he made his way out of the room flooded with people when he bumped into someone, causing him to spill punch on himself.

 _“Hey!”_ The boy shouted. He has short with silvery-blond hair and piercing green eyes. He glared at Yuuri, until he realized that tears were pouring down the black-haired-boy’s face like an avalanche, and how petrified he looked. His expression softened a bit and he calmed down.

“What’s wrong, Idiot?” He asked, leaving Yuuri even more stunned.

_‘He doesn’t even know me! Why is he calling me an idiot? I can’t believe I let Phichit talk me into this. I want to go home.’_

Reality struck Yuuri when he heard a familiar voice calling out his name.

“Yuuri! Wait, we need to talk!”

Yuuri turned to see Viktor weaving through a clump of people. Yuuri turned back around and continued to the door.

 _“Hey!”_ the man said, watching Yuuri’s back as he ran towards the exit. Viktor quickly rushed past him, but not before he could grab Viktor’s arm.

“Viktor! Who is that? What happened?”

“No time to explain Yurio - I’ll be back later.”

Viktor made his way out of the door just in time to see Yuuri start down the stairs of the apartment complex.

 _‘Here we go,’_ Viktor thought, as he continued chasing after the smaller boy.

“Yuuri! _Yuuri!”_

 _‘No, no, no!’_ Yuuri thought as he made his way out of the building. The night air engulfed Yuuri, his nose immediately turning pink at the change in temperature. His breath was visible in the light of a nearby streetlamp. It seemed like any other Californian night. Except it wasn’t for Yuuri. Yuuri’s usually calm composure seemed to keep getting more and more demolished as the night passed sluggishly.

Panic clouded his mind, making him run into the street, and all he could do was hope to cross safely.

_‘So close, come on Yuuri, you’re almost home-free.’_

He made it across the street and booked it to his dorm room, Viktor following close behind. Phichit and Chris watched and caught their breath at the door of the apartment complex, having been chasing the two all along.

“What _happened?”_ Phichit asked, looking to Chris. Chris didn’t answer and continued to watch as Viktor caught the door behind Yuuri and made his way in.

 _‘I don’t know, but whatever it was, it can’t have been good,’_ Chris thought, sighing.

“Yuuri! No, Yuuri!” Viktor shouted as Yuuri made it into his room and closed the door. He locked it and leaned his back against it, breathing heavily as more tears built up in his eyes. He pushed his glasses up as he wiped away the flowing tears.

“Yuuri!” Viktor banged his fist against the door. “Yuuri, _please_ open the door! Please, let me explain!”

Viktor stopped banging his fist against the barrier between them when he heard sobs coming from the other side. Yuuri was on the floor, back against the door, sobbing uncontrollably. His breaths were short and ragged.

“Yuuri, please open the door,” Viktor said, more calmly, resting his palm flat against the entryway. “I missed you every second of every day. You ran through my mind constantly from the day I left until now. Yuuri, you were my everything. I would _never_ have left you consensually. Please, just let me explain.” Viktor was pleading now, his voice breaking in the middle of sentences.

Yuuri sobbed on the other side of the door, trying to block out Viktor’s pleads, covering his ears with his hands, but to no avail. Viktor’s words were loud and clear. He heard every break in his voice, every intake of breath, and noticed how Viktor pronounced his words with a slight accent. A slight English accent.

Yuuri slowly got up and leaned his forehead on the door while he made his decision.

_‘He left you Yuuri. Don’t fall for it. He’ll just leave you again - But he just wants to explain, let him explain at least…’_

Yuuri cleared his throat and prepared his voice for its second usage in many, many years.

“No, Viktor. You ruined my life. I spent hours every day, trying to find you. I went around neighbourhoods, did research… I cried so many tears. I don’t want you breaking my heart again anytime soon.”

Viktor’s heart dropped. He looked down and continued holding his palm to the door.

“Okay,” Viktor said. He sat down on the floor, facing the door, leaning his back against the other side of the hall. “Then I’ll wait until it’s not too soon. I would do anything for you, and if that means waiting for what may be hours, days, _weeks -_ I’ll wait any amount of time for you.”

Yuuri slid down the door again and put his face in his hands.

 _“Why does my past have to haunt me? And why does his cheesy speech have to be so perfect?’_ he thought, running his hands through his hair as more tears flowed down his face. He bit his lip and sniffled as the tears continuously poured down his cheeks at the thought of them reuniting perfectly; Viktor sweeping Yuuri off his feet, them hugging, kissing, talking about what happened, crying, laughing, and ending with their bodies entangled with each other, sprawled out on Yuuri’s bed. Yuuri wanted it so bad… But he didn’t think he could ever forgive Viktor.

It was decided. There would be no cliche reunion. Yuuri wanted to talk. Just to talk. For now.

Yuuri breathed in deeply, wiping his tears and stood up. He turned and put his shaking hand on the doorknob and opened the door, to reveal Viktor on the floor, his knees pulled to his chest, with his head between his legs. He looked up and immediately stood, dusting off his hands on his pants.

“Yuuri-”

“You have half an hour to explain yourself,” Yuuri said, glaring at Viktor. Viktor wasn’t scared of Yuuri - like, at all; he actually looked quite cute - but did as he was told anyways, afraid he might lose his best friend again.

Viktor entered the room, Yuuri closing the door behind him. Yuuri led him through the boxes, finding somewhere to sit. Yuuri decided to sit cross legged at the head of his bed. Viktor sat on the edge of the bed on the opposite side.

“Start from the beginning. The very beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, i know, it's bad. point out any spelling or grammatical mistakes, i appreciate it.


	4. Chapter 4

“Start from the beginning. The very beginning,” Yuuri said. “When you first left.”

Viktor nodded and sighed. He swallowed and closed his eyes, letting the painful memories float to the surface of his mind. He rubbed his hand against his palm, nervously explaining the misunderstanding.

“So, I woke up one morning and noticed my phone was gone. I thought it was strange at first, but I didn’t mind it. Makkachin got up on my bed, licking my face, trying to get me up. He was so excited, I had no idea why. I distinctly remember thinking that maybe he had to have sensed my excitement for our date. At the time it was the only explanation, considering he was so old and never got excited like he used to. I got dressed, brushed my teeth and everything, ready to meet you for our walk in the park that I promised you. I picked out my best casual outfit, hoping it’d impress you. When I got downstairs my parents were… furious, to say the least. My dad held my phone, scrolling through it while my mom stared at me with that intimidating expression… The kind where you can’t help but feel ashamed, even when you don’t know what you’ve done wrong. Anyways, it turns out they had gone through my phone… They saw that I was flirting with you, that we were kind of ‘a thing’... they saw the pictures you sent me…”

Yuuri blushed at this part, but stayed silent. He remember the anxiety he felt like none other when he sent those pictures. It always exhilarated him, breaking the rules, and pleasing Viktor. He remembered the first time he sent one of those pictures, it was him naked, with a cleverly placed coffee mug covering up anything too revealing. Viktor had replied with, ‘I choked on my coffee and am currently trying to conceal a boner at the breakfast table. Thanks a lot.’ The satisfaction it brought Yuuri was like none other.

“My parents,” Viktor continued. “Were ashamed that I - their one and only son, the perfect child - was dating a guy. They were so ashamed, that we just left. As soon as they found our texts, they had called moving people, my uncle’s private jets, and three one-way tickets to England.

“They-” Viktor’s voice broke. He could feel tears beginning to form behind his eyes. “They didn’t let me say bye. They were so humiliated. I felt like I had let everyone down. Especially you, my perfect Yuuri. I begged my parents to let me say bye, but they refused. I asked if I could maybe just text you, but to no avail. I was on house arrest until I was on my way to England thirty minutes later. Oh god, I missed you so much Yuuri. I am so, so sorry.”

Viktor let the back of his hand rest on Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri grabbed his hand and leaned his face onto it, a single tear slipping from his chocolate brown eyes. Yuuri swallowed hard, closing his eyes.

“I looked everywhere,” Yuuri said, his voice remaining raspy. “I became so secluded. Today was the first time I’ve talked in almost four years. I thought you stopped loving me. I texted you everyday for a year. I was so mad, Viktor. I was so mad, and sad, and confused, and I still don’t know what to think.”

Viktor turned his hand over, letting it cup Yuuri’s face. Yuuri sighed at the familiar feeling of Viktor’s hands. His slender fingers felt cold against Yuuri’s face, but he didn’t care. He felt like he was at home.

“Viktor,” Yuuri whispered, tears welling in his eyes. He chuckled a bit. “I-I don’t know if things will ever be the same… I’m afraid we won’t click like we used to. I-I just need to think about this, okay? Please, go. I’m so overwhelmed, and I just need time to sort things out in my brain…”  
Viktor nodded and got up.

“I’m sorry I put so much on you at one time. Come to me when you’re ready, okay? No rush.”

Yuuri nodded glumly. When he heard the door click shut, he sighed and fell back onto his bed, covering his face with his hands.

_‘I don’t think i can deal with this one more time,’_ He thought, letting out a raspy breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, considering it's so short. my life is super chaotic right now. point out any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, i appreciate it.


	5. author's note

i am experiencing major writer's block. i am not neglecting this work, i promise. i'll try to get a real chapter out as soon as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah look an actual chapter. sorry about how short it is, i just needed to get something out so i don't end up procrastinating even more :,) point out any spelling or grammatical mistakes or inconsistencies please!
> 
> edit: w o w i'm so inactive. i updated this chapter just a bit to make it longer, and i'm working on a chapter right now, but i won't finish it for a while because state testing just started and i'm slammed with studying

“Yuuri! Yuuri, open the door!” Phichit yelled.

Yuuri groaned and looked up at the digital clock by the side of his bed. It read 10:42 P.M.

Yuuri didn’t respond.

“I’m just here to make sure you’re okay! What _happened_ back there?”

Yuuri got up and opened the door. His hair covered his eyes and he stared at the floor. He looked up a bit to see Chris and Viktor walking down the hallway, away from Yuuri’s dorm, talking quietly. Yuuri’s heart broke. His eyes began to well up as he moved a bit, motioning for Phichit to come in.

They both sat down on the bed and Yuuri explained his situation quietly, his vocal chords sore from misuse. Phichit didn’t interrupt, and nodded when appropriate to show he was listening.

“I… I’m tired… And confused… And… I really want more of that punch…” Yuuri said groggily as the events from the past hour began to sink in. He realized he had a pounding headache, making his head feel like it was under many pounds of pressure.

“Hey, Yuuri,” Phichit said. “I’ll stay if you want me to. Tomorrow we can unpack, if you’re feeling up to it, or I can just take care of you. We’re definitely not going out or anything; you’ve dealt with a lot.”

Yuuri bit his lip to keep it from quivering and nodded.

“Go to bed now, I’ll make myself up a bed and we’ll figure out what’s happening tomorrow when we get there, okay?”

Yuuri nodded and slowly began laying down on his side.

He heard Phichit shuffle around the room for a few minutes before he fell asleep to the cold touch of tears dripping from the bridge of his nose onto the sheets on his bed.

***

“Dude!” Chris said, catching up to Viktor as he walked back across the street to Chris and Viktor’s party.

“Hey, man,” Viktor said quietly, keeping his gaze in front of him.

“Viktor, I had no idea you… you were…”

“What, Chris?” Viktor said, getting defensive and aggravated. “You didn’t know I was a twink? That you thought I was a huge lady’s man, who flirted up just anyone? Thought I was just some fuckboy who slept around with lots of girls? Well, that’s not true. None of that’s true. I’ve never had sex with a woman, _hell,_ I’ve never had sex with anyone besides Yuuri! He is so perfect, and he was _my_ Yuuri, and I can’t believe I was the one to break him… My heart always has and always will lie with Yuuri. I-I just don’t know if he’ll take it back now…”

“Woah, Vik,” Chris said, following him into the building. “I wasn’t gonna say that! I was just gonna say I didn’t know you swung that way. It’s not even a big deal, and it’s not like I’ll tell anyone if you don’t want. And if it makes you feel any better… I-I’m bisexual, so I’m kinda in the same boat, you know?”

Viktor stopped and turned around, his expression softening.

“I’m sorry I raised my voice… And sorry I told you all that personal shit…” Viktor said quietly.

“It’s fine! I get it, you’re stressed. You’ve dealt with a lot tonight, so it was probably nice to get stuff off your chest… We should probably start kicking people out of the apartment so we can get some rest.”

Viktor nodded, but before he started up the stairs, he hugged Chris tight.

“Thank you,” he said before quickly breaking off the hug.

Viktor started up the stairs before being stopped by Chris one more time.

“Hey…” he said. “I’m your best friend, man. You can tell me stuff like that. Don’t be afraid of judgement in front of me, okay? I don’t care that you’re gay, I don’t care if you’ve only had sex with one person, dude, I wouldn’t even care if you were a virgin. I just want you to be happy and know you can talk to me… I don’t want you bottling things up like that, okay? It’s not healthy.”

Viktor nodded solemnly and smiled a genuine smile.

“Let’s go crash our own party,” Viktor said. Chris smiled and followed his roommate up the staircase.

***

After what seemed like years of yelling, “It’s the police!” and “Is that a frozen yogurt truck outside?!” eventually all the people left, leaving Viktor and Chris to clean up the mess. Viktor threw Chris a roll of trash bags and they both reluctantly began filling them with Solo cups and paper plates. After ten minutes of awkward silence, besides the crinkling of bags, Chris spoke up.

“So… Yuuri, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“He  _ is _ pretty cute.”

Viktor chuckled, “Yeah, he is, isn’t he?”

Chris nodded and smiled at Viktor. “Do you love him?”

Viktor breathed out heavily and shrugged.

“My answer should be yes, but I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him in years. What if he changed? What if  _ he  _ doesn’t love me? I mean, I did mysteriously vanish one day… But, I loved the old him. But I don’t know right now. I’ll have to figure it out, you know?”

Chris nodded and continued shoving trash into the giant bag.

“Yeah, I get it. I mean, Phichit talked to me a little bit, apparently he hadn’t talked since you disappeared.”

“Yeah,” Viktor said, his head pounding. “Yeah, he told me. His voice was so raspy and misused… When I heard it I almost began crying.  _ I  _ did that to him. I can’t believe I did that to my Yuuri…”

“Hey,” Chris said, looking at him. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not your fault that you left, okay? You’re too hard on yourself.”

Viktor just nodded as he continued picking up pieces of trash and shoving them violently into the bag. The guilt just kept boiling up, and he couldn’t help but feel horrible for leaving Yuuri.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this is an extremely short chapter, just because i wanted to get something out because i haven't updated in basically years. enjoy.

Yuuri woke up with a pounding headache and an unsettled stomach. ‘Jesus,’ he thought, wincing as he tried to sit up.

  
“Yuuri! You’re awake! I made you a banana milkshake. I figured you’d be a little… uh…”

“Hungover?” Yuuri completed Phichit’s sentence as he sat up slowly and took the milkshake. They both sat there as Yuuri took slow, drawn out sips of his drink.

“So, what’cha thinking about?” Phichit asked, unsure of how to start a conversation. Yuuri shrugged in response.

“Are… Are you thinking about last night?”

Yuuri nodded, yes.

“Yuuri, you can’t handle that stress right now, try and think of something else.”

Yuuri was silent. Part of him didn’t want to think of something else. Viktor was his everything, yet the thought of him made him sad, mad, and everything in between. Silence enveloped them as Yuuri drank his milkshake.

“I know I said not to think about him… But, what are you going to do?”  
Yuuri sat silently. What was he going to do? He could just continue his college life normally and pretend nothing happened, but Viktor now knew where he lived, and went to the same college. It was bound for them to run into each other sometimes. On the other hand, Yuuri loved Viktor and didn’t want to let him go. They could live out their lives together as soulmates and tell their crazy tale to their friends.

Yuuri just shrugged and paid too much attention to his drink as he sipped impatiently, hoping for the conversation to change.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol hey i'm back :,) sorry lol hopefully i'll actually start updating regularly but idk school sucks

     Yuuri was home alone - Phichit left to get some takeout for lunch. His dorm was silent, leaving him with nothing but his thoughts. 

_ What am I going to do? _

     He sat with his head between his knees on the edge of his bed, tears falling to the floor. His head ached from crying and stress, making him cry more. 

_ Why me? _

     He covered his face with his hands and sobbed, crying the loudest he’d cried in a while. His cries flowed from his mouth like a river, taking short, shallow breaths. 

     Suddenly there was loud knocking at the door, making Yuuri jump to his feet. 

     “Y-Yes, who is it?” he said, wiping his tears furiously. 

     “It’s your neighbour, Jean. Is everything okay?”

     Yuuri walked across his dorm and cracked the door to look at his neighbour. 

     “Sorry, it was a rough night. Uh, my name is Yuuri. Uhm, would you like to come in?”

     “Sure…”

     Yuuri opened the door more and let the man in. He had tan skin and grey eyes, with jet-black hair. 

     “Would you like a drink?” Yuuri said, wiping his nose and fixing his glasses. 

     “No, no, it’s fine. Just want to make sure you’re okay.”

     “I don’t know. Rough night, rough morning. Everything is just blah,” Yuuri said tiredly. The bags under his eyes were very noticeable along with his dark circle, even behind his glasses. 

     “Well, would you like to talk about it?” Jean said, crossing his arms and looking at Yuuri with a concerned look. 

     Yuuri sniffed and smiled a little bit. 

     “I don’t want to push this on you. Thank you though. Sorry if I disturbed you.”

     “Dude, don’t worry about it,” Jean said, smiling and putting a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “I want to make sure you’re okay. I’m not upset about the loudness. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

     Yuuri nodded and looked down. 

     “Thank you.”

     “Of course,” Jean said, patting his shoulder. “I’m right next door, room 275, if you need anything, okay?”

     Yuuri nodded before stopping and thinking. 

     “Actually,” He said quietly. “Can I ask for some advice?”

     Jean nodded and Yuuri continued.

     “So, when I was younger, maybe 8 or 9, I had a huge crush on this… girl… and we had been best friends until I was in eighth grade and we started dating. Well, she ended up leaving suddenly in 10th grade, leaving my heartbroken. And I don’t mean just left me, like, she disappeared. Her entire family - gone. I didn’t talk again until last night, when I saw her again at a party. And I don’t know what to do. I’m still in love with her, but I don’t know what to do. Do we get back together? Do we keep it cool for a while? I just… I really want to hug her… kiss her… hold her… but I don’t know if she’ll leave again… I don’t know if I’d be able to go through that again…”

     Jean nodded his head and thought for a moment. 

     “Well, Yuuri, if I was in this situation… I’d go talk to her. You are obviously in serious love with her and I think if you talk for a little bit, you’ll become who you were before she left. So I’d go talk to her, but that’s just what I’d do.”

     Yuuri nodded and bit his lip out of nervousness. 

     “Thank you.”

     “Of course. If you need anything else I’m next door.”

     He showed himself out and Yuuri sighed. 

_ Maybe he’s right,  _ Yuuri thought, rubbing his forehead.  _ I should go talk to him.  _

     He groaned and cracked his knuckles. 

_ After Phichit gets home. I’m starving.  _

_ *** _

     Phichit got home about twenty minutes later to find Yuuri sitting upside down on his computer chair, staring at the wall. 

     “Uhh… Yuuri?” Phichit asked, setting down the bag of takeout on Yuuri’s desk. 

     Yuuri flinched and scrambled to sit upright, almost losing his balance multiple times. 

     “H-Hi,” he said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. 

     Phichit smiled and handed him a box from the bag that had ‘THANK YOU’ written down the side repeatedly. 

     “Chow mein, teriyaki chicken, white rice for you.”

     “Thank you,” Yuuri said, grabbing chopsticks from the inside of the box and breaking them apart. Phichit nodded and sat on the floor while he ate his own meal. 

     Awkward silence enveloped the room. 

     “I think I’m gonna call him,” Yuuri said, breaking the rising awkward tension. 

     Phichit raised his eyebrow and slurped a chow mein noodle. 

     “You sure you’re ready to?”

     Yuuri nodded and continued picking at his food.

     “My parents,” Yuuri began, setting down his chopsticks and rubbing his forehead. “They had no idea what was going on when I stopped talking. They took me to so many doctors, therapists, psychologists. The first day my mom noticed I wasn’t talking, she thought I was dead. I was sitting on my bed, staring at the wall, mentally checked out when my mom walked into my room. She called my name but I couldn’t turn around. I couldn’t face her. Not once in those years did i ever tell them about why I was done, or why I was basically dead. Then, one day, I just packed all my things. They asked where I was going-“ Yuuri’s voice cracked and a tear slipped down his cheek. “-I didn’t even tell them, Phichit. They don’t know where I am. They probably think I’m dead somewhere. It’s been almost a week since I left, I haven’t even called them.”

     Yuuri wiped the tear from his cheek and covered his eyes. Phichit watched sullenly from his spot on the floor, watching Yuuri’s tears fall and hit the carpet. 

     “Yuuri,” Phichit said, setting down his food. “Look, all of this will work out, okay? It might feel like your world is falling apart all over again, but I can see it building itself back up again. Everything is finding where it fits and I can see the life coming back to you. Trust me, Yuuri, everything will be okay. If you want, I can call your parents and tell them you’re okay, and that we’ll visit them soon, okay?”

     Yuuri nodded, his face still stuffed in his hands. 

     “Good… now give me a hug?”

     Yuuri nodded again and threw himself on Phichit, sending them both to the floor. 

     “Thank you,” Yuuri said, his arms wrapped tightly around Phichit. 

     “Of course,” Phichit said breathlessly. “Hey Yuuri, I can’t breathe.”

     “Oh!” Yuuri quickly got off of his best friend and smiled when as Phichit dramatically caught his breath. 

     “Thank you,” he said, smiling. “You want to go see Viktor now?”

     Yuuri smiled and nodded, his eyes glowing for the first time in years. 


End file.
